My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
