But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
