thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
