Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
