This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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