You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize