He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
