Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
