There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize