my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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