In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize