He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
