It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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