i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
