My nipple is on Facebook.
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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