So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
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