Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
