I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
PANTIES FOUND
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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