Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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