Taylor Swift is so right about you.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
