is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
