i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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