How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
