I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
