That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize