I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
