Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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