Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
