his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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