i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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