I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
