What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
