Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
