Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
