Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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