I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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