he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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