O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
