Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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