I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
