i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
