I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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