don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
