nut hugger
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if only i could text you this smell
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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