please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize