Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i out mim tonsoeep
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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