apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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