walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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