I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
