Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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