this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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