Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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