It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Randomize
