I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
