I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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