Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
