Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
