we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
How's work?
Spinning.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
