All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
