oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
