# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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