FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
