If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
