My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
