What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
