Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
