Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
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I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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