god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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